Good Financial Reads: Elder Care

It is overwhelming caring for a loved one with dementia. It can be as or more challenging tackling their finances. Often, parents are uncomfortable sharing and discussing their finances with their adult children and adult children are often hesitant to broach the topic. However, not discussing the finances can cause more stress and turmoil in the long run. It is a lot of work and time-consuming to manage someone’s finances including paying bills, organizing, managing investments, selling real estate or other assets, and this does not include the emotional toll of managing health and other care needs. It’s even harder when the person does not live nearby.

I recently read Being Mortal by Atul Gawande, MD. His insight perfectly blends medicine and emotion when it comes to the inevitable challenges of aging. What struck me most was a passage related to seniors falling.

“The danger for her was losing what she had. The single most serious threat she faced was not the lung nodule or the back pain. It was falling. Each year, about 350,000 Americans fall and break a hip. Of those, 40% end up in a nursing home, and 20% are never able to walk again. The three primary risk factors for falling are poor balance, taking more than 4 prescription medications, and muscle weakness. Elderly people without these risk factors have a 12% chance of falling in a year. Those with all three risk factors have almost a 100% chance.”

It’s your birthday, and mom, age 81, gives you a call. After pleasantries, she mentions how short-tempered your brother has been. She appreciates his help which allows her to remain home, but there is still more she needs – particularly companionship. She’d love to play cards with your brother or have him bring by the grandchildren, but he’s always in such a rush. Instead of confronting him, she listens to him complain about his day and says nothing. 

It’s the holiday season and we’re in shopping mode. Kids and significant others may be relatively easy to navigate, but what about our parents? What haven’t they already received throughout the years? What would they truly appreciate? Is it right to be giving more “stuff” to someone who is planning to or has already downsized?

After careful consideration I’ve come up with some categories and ideas to help you find the perfect gift